Day 17, Thursday, May 7, 2015

Got very little sleep last night. What’s been amazing to me is watching my emotions run like a roller-coaster all over the place. I feel like Dylan’s amazing album, Blood on the Tracks. Almost every emotion one can have I have had in the last 24 hours, from sadness to bitterness to compassion to gratefulness and everything in between, all brought to me courtesy of my changing thoughts being picked up by consciousness and made real every time a new one comes along.

I guess one of the tricks of life is that when life throws you something of this magnitude, or even smaller things, is to just see it as new experience passing by, and really know what I’ve said so many times to others: we can never know the future. How can I know that someone may possibly come along in the rest of my life who may be even better for me than Amy? Hard to imagine. Unfathomable to me right now. But there is always that possibility, and therefore always that hope. But it would be unwise for me to do the hoping. That could set up an expectation in my mind, which is never good, because that begets comparison thoughts, which are never good. The fact is, even if I don’t find someone else for the rest of my life I was so lucky to have found and been in the greatest relationship for 10 whole years, and, more important, if I become One with my spiritual essence, my pure consciousness, I am whole and complete within myself. Thank God for knowing the Three Principles. Thank you, Syd.

I arrived in Birmingham, England, U.K.  It was a shock to the system, after Albir, Spain. No beach weather here! The wonderful Janet Lindsay picked me up, took me out to eat, and took me home. I stay here now for about a week.